So, the lovely and talented Darci Cole is having a contest on her blog in honor of getting 100 followers. Basically, she posted this photo and challenged her readers to write a 300-500 word piece of flash fiction inspired by it. The word/number 100 must appear in the piece. There were prizes, that included critiques of your manuscript. I don’t have anything that is REMOTELY critique ready so I chose not to enter the contest, but, really that photo is amazing and this story came to my head immediately.
Pretty rarely for me, I actually think this story is pretty good. Here we go. Seriously, give me a comment or two and let me know what you think, k?
MEMORY LANE
by Beau Barnett
I looked over at my wife in the passenger seat, and smiled. She smiled back, a quick, upward twitch of her lips, reaching over and clasping my hand. She mouthed the words, “I love you.” It was a foggy, misty evening. We were traveling through a heavily wooded area, the scraggly trees forming a canopy over the road, blocking the moon. We were on the way back home from a trip to her parents. “I love you, too, Jules.” So much.
In response, she brought her mouth up to my ears and whispered sweetly, “Baby, drive faster. What we need is some speed.”
I laughed. “It’s much too foggy out.”
She let go of my hand and ran her hand up the inside of my thigh, leaving it there. “Please, baby. Go faster. I need to be in your arms,” she breathed. I could feel her words against my ear more than I could actually hear them.
I stomped on the accelerator, watching the speedometer climb past 70…80…90…100 miles per hour. At 120, she purred, excitedly. At 140, she raised her eyes skyward and laughed, the wind taking the sound and magnifying it somehow. I drove as fast as I dared, tires squealing around the corners, threatening to lose grip at any moment. The faster I drove, the more she loved it, beaming all the more whenever the car downshifted and the engine roared. The way her long, curly, dark hair was blowing in the wind, I swear, she looked like an angel.
“Oh, baby,” she said, breathing heavily, almost panting, “I’m going to rock your world when we get home.” I drove even faster, my face a stoic look of absolute concentration on the road ahead.
A cough from the backseat brought me back to the present. I looked in the rearview mirror, seeing two brown eyes staring back at me. I smiled. “You ok, Lydia?” I asked.
“I miss Mom,” she said, “I’d swear she’s here with us tonight.”
“I miss her too, Pumpkin.” I looked over at the empty passenger seat, a single tear rolling down my cheek. Hard to believe it had been 5 years tonight.
“Hey Daddy?”
“Yeah, Pumpkin?”
“Can you go faster?”
She was so much like Jules. “Of course,” I replied, and hit the gas.
—
Happy reading!
You have done something in 400 words that novelists can’t do in thousands. Still as stunning as the first time I read it.
Wow. That’s fabulous, Beau. Absolutely love it!
Love. This. Story.
Makes me cry every time I read it. ❤
Yesss!!! So awesome, sad and poignant. Well done Beau 🙂
❤
Gosh, Beau! I cannot wait until you get published! Every short story you write is one that captures me and leaves me wanting more! 🙂 Love you!
It made me cry!
[…] further adieu, I present to you all Beau Barnett and his story, Memory Lane. Enjoy. I hope you will, at least as much as I […]
Dude, if you ever need a Beta I am so in!! This is brilliant 🙂
🙂 thank you, rock star 🙂
Good story, well written. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thank you Pete!
Oh. My. Gosh.
I just stumbled over your blog from your Write Club post. I participated in Darci’s One Hundred contest, so this caught my eye. I read it and I cried, read it again, read it to hubby. Just… just… gorgeous. If you ever need [another] beta, I’m in, too!
Holy cow, thank you so, so much!
You absolutely made my day when I read this yesterday; coming from someone who wrote such a great story herself, this means more than I can express properly!
Thank you again!
Beautifully written and wantonly unexpected. You write, I read, and I get to be the one on the roller coaster. Yippee!
Wow. Just… wow. I spent most of the story waiting for the crash. Only to find out that it had already happened. And now I’m left wondering if he and Lydia are about to be joining Jules. Definitely made me cry.